I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
