I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
