the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
