i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
