I wannas sexs uuuuu
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
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