he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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