Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
