Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
