when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
