is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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