Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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