don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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