"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
