Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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