I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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