I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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