Why are handjobs necessary in class?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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