Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
