That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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