Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize