woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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