i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
