We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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