Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Everything about him screamed your future.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize