You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
