I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
