Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
