clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
whose parrot is this?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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