So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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