i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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