ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Non-Jews are for practice
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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