Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
