I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
