I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
is wine microwaveable?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
