maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
