I must be too annoying 4 u.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
