could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
