Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
