im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
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