it's too hot outside to masturbate.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
you're hired as official boob wrangler
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
