We're like a lot better than the average bears
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
