btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
