i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
