she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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