Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
