look no pants
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
