My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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