so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
handjob tips. give me some.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
