Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize