i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize