I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
