he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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