just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
