he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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