SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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