I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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