you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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