your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize