Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
It's shark week go big or go home
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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