Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize