I think my fart just growled at me.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
