After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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