I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
