I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize