super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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