After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
