You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
