I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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