Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
