Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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